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“I like your dress,” I said. “Is a man supposed to say something like that or is it a women-only thing?”“What do you like about it?” she asked.“The silver bits,” I said. “And I like the way the skirt hangs.”“The way it hangs,” she mused.“It’s sort of straighter than you’d expect,” I explained.“You’re not gay, are you?” she said sharply. “I thought I could tell that sort of thing…”“Because I noticed the shape of your dress?” I retorted. “It means I was admiring the way it hangs on you and the way your legs look in it. And your ass.”“And you approve?”“You look great. You look…”“What?”My mind scrambled for a compliment that was both honest and constructive, and which would help my cause.“You look warm and friendly and kind and gentle and you’re beautiful and sexy and…”“I can’t possibly be all those things,” she said, but kindly.“So which ones aren’t you?” I teased.“I’m not beautiful and I’m not sexy.”“That’s purely your own assessment,” I said. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so. Several locking clips assured that everything would remain in place.As the women walked around me, checking the results from variousangles, I understood what had been done.I was trapped inside a birdcage. They chuckled at my predicament. Ihad been turned even more into an object of ridicule. Then I had totry to quack a tune for them. Someone requested Mary Had A Little Lamband I was so defeated that I immediately attempted to perform it,mortifying though that was.For the next hour my wife went into details about how she had takenadvantage of my desires, manipulated me, and brought my life to itscurrent state. Some of the descriptions of what I had initiallywanted, the ease with which she had led me on, and my helplessness whenI tried to argue with her, were especially unsettling to listen to.Without saying it directly, she made a strong case that what I wasgetting was what I wanted. That started me thinking that she might beright. And inside its pecker prison, my penis seemed.
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